DIVORCE AGREEMENT How It Works

Posted by The Wild Zimarik in Economy, Education, General, Government, Government Health Care, Guns, Illegal Border Crossing, Law Enforcement, Military, Politics, Speaking Out, We The People

DIVORCE AGREEMENT — This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly

believe it’s by a young person, a student! Whatever he runs for, I’ll vote for him!

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to

$2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with.

* * * * * * * * * *

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists,

and Obama supporters, et. al..:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but

the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a

divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of

future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of **America** cannot and will not ever agree on

what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms.. We can

smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each

taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our

two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be

relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide

other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA,

and the military.

5. We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind,

solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however,

responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of

them.

7. We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,

Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,

homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.

10. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and **Hollywood** .

11. You can make nice with **Iran** and **Palestine** and we’ll retain the

right to invade and hammer places that threaten us..

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our

way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

13. We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness,

and Shirley McLain.. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be

paying the bill.

15. We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can

take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

17. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

18. We’ll keep “The **Battle** Hymn of the Republic” and “The National

Anthem.”

19. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the

World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya,” or “We Are the World”.

20. We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give

trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our

flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other

like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just

hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one

of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra

Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S.: And you won’t have to “Press 1 for English” when you call our

country.

Forward this every time you get it! Let’s keep this going; maybe some of it

will start sinking in!

If you can’t stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front

of them!*

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